CocoAfrique

moved pages

2011-04-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

If you still visit this blog, i apologize for the long period without posts. I moved to tumblr a couple of months ago and didn't put a note on here.
Neway, my new blog is http://cocoafrique.tumblr.com/
Hope to catch you on there!
love always

New Vs Old

2010-11-14T13:39:00.000-08:00

I am moving through the flow,

The channels of thought moving all over the floor.

Ideas, new and old,

Tides and waves. . . .water from the sea

Drifts in cold. . . like on a rock, fresh mold.

And within me, I finally begin to see

2010, oh where at thou~

2010-11-12T21:25:00.000-08:00

I think it is safe to say that 2010 has by far been one of my more eventful years: filled with a lot of growth internally and externally. One would say, I am beginning to connect more with my inner me, in a way that is neither condescending nor judgemental. I think the words I selected have the same meaning, but either way, you get my drift.

I have been introduced to new schools of thought that I hope to one day share with you on here once I have wrapped my head around them. Twitter continues to remain an important part of my growth and building experience. I think its based off of the fact that I follow a lot of "conscious" people. Now, I know a lot of you are wondering what I mean by that. . .Simply put, in my view, its people who are willing to share their light. For one, they have a source of light and are willing to share it with other people regardless of race, age, gender, etc. Basically, its an open communication type of situation.

A lot of things I learnt within the last couple of months are not even new to me. As I am so frequently reminded by the individuals sharing this information... I am being ReminDed of something I already knew that I had simply forgotten. Hehe, its a hard idea to wrap my head around, regardless, I have come believe that it is actually true!

Not so long ago I was writing out new year's resolutions, trying to prepare myself for the 2010, and now that time approaches ever so quickly for 2011. If there is anything I have learnt or say continue to be reminded of, its the continuity in life. The constant recycling of situations either by nature itself or consciously within our own minds. I am reminded of the ever eminent changes that come with every passing micro-second. But above all, I am reminded to remain present. Present in the state of love versus fear.

I will try in the following weeks, to elaborate and explain some of the experiences I have had, either through poetry or plain all talking. That way I will not sound like an abstract lumpen trying to convince you of how tremendous the year has been for my growth: socially, psychologically, emotionally and all the other"-ally's" applicable here.

For now, I would like to congratulate everyone for making it through the year that continues to unfold. I pray you have been forcing yourself to go beyond your so-called "boundaries" . When you think about it a little deeper, we are really ultimately BOUNDLESS. It's all a state of mind in my view.

2010-10-13T13:05:00.005-07:00

s well. And I am not going anywhere! :)

2010-10-13T13:05:00.003-07:00

mber this, always. Even when you wake feeling as round as a balloon. And we you feel like the world's taking you under. I love you, always have and alway

2010-10-13T13:05:00.001-07:00

I am writing to say to you little darling, that I love you. From the root of your hair follicle, to the sharp uncut toenail. I love you little miss. Reme

Fire fly... ...

2010-09-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

I will dance and dance and dance! until my feet break right off my body! I will dance thru this storm until i lose all the fat on my bones.

where is the balance???

2010-09-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

I want to be happy

Whatever that even means.

I want to affect my world positively,

To be able to run through the fields

Of my so-called "troubles"

And accept that I am not perfect.

That everything is going to be alright!

Which it is.

I want to be able to look at this turmoil,

And laugh at it,

Endlessly, as I make tea

and Shepherd's pie!

I want to stand up out of this muddy mess

And walk away into my own glory,

To embrace the strength I already possess inside.

To stop comparing my being

To things that are not me

Will never be me.

I want to understand

That not all things will remain the same,

That giving and receiving is a mutual thing

That I should not over-extend myself

Because it takes me off my balance

And gives power to something without me

Allowing it to control how I value myself

When that is all completely atrocious.

Balance

I want balance!

image source

Shifting and sieving.

2010-09-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

It seems like there's always going to be something wrong.

Shoes don't fit right,

You don't act right,

Energy don't flow right.

sucking in more and more.

Giving nothing back.

Even when all you want is the opposite.

Some times what's wrong is all you are reminded of.

So, as you look at yourself,

Take in who you are in your completeness,

With no judgement.

Everyone else is pointing fingers,

But keep your criticisms of yourself at a low!

One day,

These things that appear to be "wrong"

Will be the very ones helping you to find what is truly

Right

And completely you.

Relax

And take it easy.

All will settle down,

When you stop shifting around.

image source

Abstract Abstractness

2010-08-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

It's that unlocked door,
For which key are searching.
That open book,
For whose writing we long to read!

It's that sun streaking through the window,

That obvious pimple,

Below your dimple.

That undone piece of cloth,

That peace of mind...

Of serenity...

That we have

But some how forgot we did.

It's that unmistakable silence,
When a lady of grandeur walks into the room,
That feeling of doom,
When we feel pending gloom.

It's that being here,

And there

And everywhere...

At the same time.

That... "I can't understand why

I am doing this,

but I just keep doing it anyway" feeling

Of being out of control.

It's nothing

And everything,

The beginning

And the ending.

What is it?

That's something

You will have to let your mind

Wiggle around in.

image source: here

Didn't cha Know... EBadu

2010-08-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

Loving it!

Along the way.

2010-08-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

Along the way:
We may get lost some times.
We may eat a few stones,
Confuse them for chicken bones.
Hit a few rocks,
Hit rock bottom...
Sit flat on our bottoms.

Along the way:
We may see dreams fulfilled,
Nightmares manifested,
Memories resurface,
Revealing the truth beneath
These skins of speed,
Of immovability,
Of death.

Along the way,
We may seek the need,
To stick with the what we know already.
Fail to understand
That we must evolve
And allow things to revolve,
And try not to solve,
Every problem.

Along the way:
I may fall
A million and half times.
I may confuse my successes
For failures.

But what counts
At least to me anyway...
Is this:
It's along the way,
That I found where I am today.
In this moment
When all that matters is now.
All this came to be,
Because it is all
Along the way.

In the Grand Scheme of Things....

2010-08-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

these lessons are here to teach you,

To remind you...

That you are made of flesh and bone.

As you fall,

So shall you rise,

Like a phoenix from the ashes.

As you learn to walk,

And jump,

So, one day will you fly.

So cry when you have to,

And laugh when you need to,

No experience is wasted,

And a mistake is only there,

To teach you...

So that when you fly,

You'll be high up with the eagles,

And all that hurts today,

Will be washed away,

When the sun,

Chases the clouds away.

Live on!

image source

Pittsburgh: Bike Day!

2010-08-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day: if I may say so myself. Albeit my obvious homesickness I made the most of everything and even added a 3-hour biking trip to the North Shore of Pittsburgh as one of my activities for the day.

I think its amazing how the bike routes are lined out: isolated from the highways and making it easy to ride with no fear of getting run over by the traffic on the road. :) That definitely made the ride all the more worth it.

There's so much to see in Pittsburgh and some times I am amazed at how much can be missed when one refuses to go out there and find something new to do. For one, I found this amazing mini park right next the the Carnegie Science Center. There were also little eateries right by the river front. I am sure I would not be eating at any of them any time soon, but they looked amazing regardless. Then they were ducks and swans, all lined up by the river shore. It was truly refreshing to be so close to the water: even when I knew that there is no way I was going to jump into that water: God forbid I get out with the whole Pittsburgh sewer system drenched in my hair. Let's not go down that path: every place has its ups and downs and in Pittsburgh, its definitely the dying sewer system. But, that's a story for a whole different day.

I have to say though, the most exciting part about my trip was not the air rushing through my hair: or the dusty pathways that left my bike marked with dirt which I will have to wash off as soon as I get my head to it. No, the most interesting part was the number of people out doing exactly what I was doing. At almost every turn, there was somebody riding their bicycle too. Some rented out for the day, others owned (like mine). It was a good feeling: knowing that we all "connected" even in that very small aspect. Haha, you know there had a be a little "cumbaya" moment in my blog.

I even met a lovely lady on roller skates who offered me a bottle of water because the water fountain at the resting point had been closed off. I think in its own little way: the day reminded me of the importance of reaching out and doing those things that make us happy.

Something as small as bike ride, not only makes the legs firmer and more "sexy" and opens up the blocked parts of the mind,but it also allows one to re-connect with their surroundings. I guess it is safe to say that I love my bike and all the lovely parks in Pittsburgh.

I know there's more to see in Pittsburgh, and this is only the beginning of a very beautiful relationship. Who knows, maybe next time I will have my handy camera ready to take some pictures and share with you!

image source

Bound to Freedom

2010-08-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

You could never

cover me with your lies,

I've been awake since December,

And my thoughts run longer than parallel lines.

Have been making parties from my tragedies

And singing sweet Bohemian rhapsodies

For my enemies.

I know that my tomorrow is brighter,

When I choose to make my burden lighter.

Gone are the days when all I did was run.

Now is the time to return

To where all the living is

Far from where the fear is.

My home is a mental paradise

in it are the memories of my Ras-Choc ice,

And boy, are they nice!

My apple cuties and apple pies

My orange and watermelon slice.

I am not bound to fear,

No! Because now my vision is clear

As crystal.

And I will continue to bestow,

Happiness to my loved ones,

And love to my "hated" ones.

For I am alive,

And though there may have been some strife,

From it I have learned:

To rejoice in the victories,

To be persuaded by the atrocities,

To live like I'll die tomorrow,

For here is where the FuTuRe belongs.

Death is Dead

2010-08-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

My souls turns

At the thought of these new burns,

These scars ingrained from the past,

These thoughts that were never meant to last.

In despair,

Memories linger of how long it took to repair,

Old dogs never seemed to learn,

Their vomit to dis-earn,

From what's true and what's a lie.

Infallible are the truths of your existence,

You make trails of red as you move along, taking with them existence.

You make a mark of deception,

On the fore heads of your company,

Taking their comrady,

Turning it into treachery.

But what you don't understand

Is... we know where you stand,

Minds are not all corrupted,

And limbs not amputated...

We are scared,

And yet we walk on,

Pursuing only what matters,

Revoking the lies,

And making new; binding ties,

With us,

Without you.

You are deception,

But the truth has been revealed to our inner eyes,

And life without your plight.. is possible,

And rooms once filled with hate,

Ring with laughter,

With joy after the death of this godforsaken master!

Fleeting...

2010-08-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

the way my mind can choose to scatter,

feelings from the before and the after,

how in my mind i still hear laughter,

from memories of yesterday.

how we fly like birds to the south pole,

and play with dandelions in the meadows

which are our minds.

it's amazing how my mind creates,

little pockets of joy from the pain,

little gardens of roses after the rain,

that seemed to be flooding my brain.

how the thought of you,

does not bring me to tears,

how i can safely say,

i loved you once,

with all of my heart...

and accept that we had to part...

how i understand that we experienced "WE" differently.

maybe i was a replacement for her

maybe you truly loved me,..

see, i don't know.

and i will never know...

but i know this one thing,

it was really good while it lasted.

it is amazing how you will forever be my friend,

even when you made me your fiend.

how you will never get to know

how much i truly loved you.

but that's OK too...

sometimes the story does not go

the way the author would have it go.

but it is still the story of my life.

it is amazing,

how into the skies i will keep on gazing,

and allow time to keep this pain eazing

away.

and it is even more amazing,

that i will be flying

and you will be paragliding too.

and when i see you again,

i will say... "it was a pleasure meeting you."

From InSide to YourSide

2010-08-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

It is often little to impossible to fully understand the gross and subtle impact that we have on other people's lives until we take a step back and look closely at the way we impact our own lives: without others.

Curve me into a smooth stone,

Let the river of life flow over me,

Continuing to smooth out my rough edges.

I have seen the lesser part of me,

Have wined and diner her,

Even given her trinkets: little gifts,

We have danced together,

Cried together,

But we could no longer be together,

She had to leave,

I have to grow.

It was a little thing really,

See, all along I didn't see,

How grave she made everything be..

How tragic the situation became,

And then we were both overwhelmed

In bags of useless drama..

Ah... she was something else,

She had to leave.

Curve me into a smooth stone,

Letting the river of life continue

To flow over me.

Smoothing out my "rough" edges,

Creating new, unmarked passages.

We'll be back soon.

2010-08-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

Taking some time off to do some growing and reinventing.

Will be back soon.

Read on.